The Five People Worse Than My Baby to Sit Next To On An Airplane


We all know sitting next to a child on an aircraft isn’t one of life’s great pleasures. However, now that I’m a mother whenever I sit next to a screaming baby, the look I give the parents is one of understanding rather than reproach. In fact, in my travels abroad I have encountered a fair number of seatmates that make the screaming infant in 32C look like an angel. In that vein here are a list of the 5 worst people to ever grace the front of an airline seat. You know you’ve encountered at least one…

5. The “I paid $200 for my transcontinental flight and that entitles me to your armrest” guy.

The armrest invasion is common enough, but the fact that the guy felt the need to enlighten me every five minutes about the cost he paid for his ticket was grating to say the least. Ironically so, given the fact that his fare would barely offset the increased fuel burn needed to haul his significant girth from coast to coast.

4. The “I need to finish my call so bad that I actually get kicked off the aircraft” girl.

This one really wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t had the window seat, placing me in between her and the poor flight attendant she was screaming at. At least once she got kicked off I had more legroom.

3. The “time to place a four course meal on my economy tray table” girl.

Given the price and general quality of airplane food, I’m all for bringing your own. But when you end up drenching the passengers next to you in couscous and tartar sauce it becomes a rather large inconvenience. (Not to mention a large dry cleaning bill)

2. The “I’m just gonna take some pictures of you” guy.

Proof that first class is no guarantee of decorum, this guy spent half the flight to New York surreptitiously trying to sneak iPhone photos of me. He then followed up by asking what my bra size was. Classy.

1. The “I’ll trade you cocaine for Advil” guy.

No question on who wins the top prize. In business class from Istanbul to Rwanda, this guy spent the flight bumping into walls and trying to play footsie with my hair from the seat behind me. When the Captain grabbed some Advil for a headache, he asked in broken English if he could have some. 6 pills later, he gratefully offered us cocaine. Guessing that he’d never watched Locked up Abroad, we graciously declined.

Can’t wait to hear what stories you guys have!

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